[closed - Caden]

[seas_open]

She feels guilty.

Lying in Caden's bed, that's the thing she keeps coming back to, the thing she doesn't know what to do with. She can't remember the last time she felt anything even close to resembling guilt and as she lies here and stares up at the ceiling, she realizes she isn't sure what to do with that. Siren Cove was supposed to be nothing more than a stop, a place to play for a little while before she continued onto another city, another population to fuck with, another way to make some quick cash.

But here she is. Nearly a year later, she's still here and for the first time in her life she actually feels guilty about her actions.

They were awful. She's done terrible things to people before, she's manipulated them and broke them, she's stolen tens of thousands of dollars and ruined lives, but it's never been without some kind of reason. The men she steals from often make their money in their own dishonest ways. The marriages she destroys should have crumbled a long time ago and giving the women infidelity as a cause for divorce puts them in a far better position. She doesn't think of herself as a good person, she's not doing anyone any favours, but she's never gone out of her way to hurt people she cares about.

And now she owes a lot of apologies. Spencer and Joel, obviously, but even more pressing is Caden. She'd been so cruel to him, said things she can't quite explain and when she thinks about the woman she's been for the past two weeks, she has to wonder. Is that what she's destined to become eventually if she doesn't rein herself in somehow? Is that the path she's eventually going to travel?

And if it is, why does it bother her so deeply to think that might be the case?

With a soft sigh, she pushes back the blankets from the bed and gets up, dressing quickly in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She ties her hair back and wanders out of the bedroom, following the smell of coffee to where she knows she'll find Caden in the kitchen.

Comments

[writtenby_caden]

Caden can't sleep. But to be fair, he hasn't even tried.

April went to bed and he didn't follow. That in itself isn't all that unusual. Sometimes he's just too into his writing he stop what he's doing, and he'll join her later. Tonight was different. He just couldn't fathom lying next to her like everything was okay, not yet.

He's still trying to process it all. It was a spell, apparently. It was magic. It made everyone forget who they were and crafted brand new lives for them. Caden still remembers how it felt to be Joel's brother, and to have pined for April for years. He still remembers how it felt when she revealed that all she wanted to do was break him. It's still too fresh and the two lives feel superimposed on top of one another, like he can't tell where one ends and the other begins.

It was magic, he knows that. But he didn't really feel like a different person, not really. He was just the same Caden placed in a different situation, and the most terrifying thought of all is that maybe it was the same for April. Maybe that was real her, just dropped into different scenery.

His heart still aches, and he isn't sure what to do. For now, he just sits at the kitchen island with his fingers curled around a cup of coffee. When he hears soft footsteps padding up behind him, he tenses, shoulders drawing up as he sits up a little straighter. April comes into view and he eyes her warily, like he doesn't know what to expect.

He doesn't know what to feel, or what she feels, and he's terrified that he just got a real glimpse of it thanks to that spell.