seas_open | [closed

She feels guilty.

Lying in Caden's bed, that's the thing she keeps coming back to, the thing she doesn't know what to do with. She can't remember the last time she felt anything even close to resembling guilt and as she lies here and stares up at the ceiling, she realizes she isn't sure what to do with that. Siren Cove was supposed to be nothing more than a stop, a place to play for a little while before she continued onto another city, another population to fuck with, another way to make some quick cash.

But here she is. Nearly a year later, she's still here and for the first time in her life she actually feels guilty about her actions.

They were awful. She's done terrible things to people before, she's manipulated them and broke them, she's stolen tens of thousands of dollars and ruined lives, but it's never been without some kind of reason. The men she steals from often make their money in their own dishonest ways. The marriages she destroys should have crumbled a long time ago and giving the women infidelity as a cause for divorce puts them in a far better position. She doesn't think of herself as a good person, she's not doing anyone any favours, but she's never gone out of her way to hurt people she cares about.

And now she owes a lot of apologies. Spencer and Joel, obviously, but even more pressing is Caden. She'd been so cruel to him, said things she can't quite explain and when she thinks about the woman she's been for the past two weeks, she has to wonder. Is that what she's destined to become eventually if she doesn't rein herself in somehow? Is that the path she's eventually going to travel?

And if it is, why does it bother her so deeply to think that might be the case?

With a soft sigh, she pushes back the blankets from the bed and gets up, dressing quickly in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She ties her hair back and wanders out of the bedroom, following the smell of coffee to where she knows she'll find Caden in the kitchen.

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Caden's breath catches a little at the words because coming from April, that's huge. He knows that her trust is a carefully guarded that that isn't easily earned, and to have that trust, to have her actually say it, means the world to him. He smiles warmly and nods, cupping her cheek and leaning in to kiss her again.

He just feels so happy of a sudden, truly happy for the first time since the spell started. A relieved sigh escapes him and he wraps his arms around her, sliding one hand underneath her so he can lift her easily from the stool in a way that means she has to wrap her legs around his waist as he stands up straight.

A soft chuckle escapes him and he kisses her again, soft and slow, and holds her close to him while pressing their foreheads together. "Thank you."

She laces her hands behind his neck and lets out a soft laugh, then tilts her head to look at him. "Do you feel better now?" She does and doesn't. Caden isn't the only person she has to apologize to, but she's sure he's the one she's hurt the most. There are other people she needs to speak to, but at least for the moment they can wait. Neither of them have slept well or, in Caden's case, at all and if he's feeling better she thinks they should likely take the day off.

"You should probably get some sleep," she says. "Since you apparently didn't get any last night."

She doesn't think she'd mind going back to bed and falling asleep for a little while longer. She'll sleep better now, she thinks.

"I do," Caden replies, sliding his hand up and down her back and looking at her with concern. He knows that he isn't the only one that April hurt while under the spell. "Do you? It'll all be okay, you know. I'm sure they know it wasn't you."

He sets her down and kisses her again, going over to turn off the coffee pot and turn out all the lights. Once he's done, he takes her hand and leads her towards the bedroom. "I feel like I'm getting a second wind, but I'll try. As long as you come with me."

But he didn't. There's no reason for Spencer to trust anything she has to say when even Caden doubted her, but she only smiles and nods. "I'll talk to Spencer at the baby shower, I guess," she says. Assuming it's still on. She's had her invitation for nearly a month already and she's gone back and forth between attending and taking a pass, but now she thinks she has to go. She has to apologize.

"I think I could do with sleeping for another few hours," she says with a soft laugh, letting him lead her. "What I got wasn't exactly what you'd call restful."

"Look at it this way. You gave them a second chance at another great love story," Caden tells her, shutting the bedroom door and turning to smile at her. "They might even appreciate that."

He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it into the hamper before slipping out of his pants, leaving him in his boxer briefs as he goes over to the bed and lays back on it, stretching his arms up over his head as he gets comfortable. April is standing at the end of the bed and Caden smiles at her, moving over a bit and holding his hand out to her.

She climbs into the bed beside him, stretches out on her stomach and pushes her arms under the pillow so she can bury her face in it for a moment. Now that they're lying here, she can feel the lack of sleep catching up with her. Maybe that's the guilt, maybe it's something else, but she still doesn't like it much. It's exhausting.

And the bed is comfortable and warm. At least here she no longer feels terrible about the things she's done.

Caden wants to pull her into his arms, but she looks like she's made herself comfortable. He watches her for a long moment and leans over to rest his large hand at the small of her back, ducking his head to press a kiss to her shoulder through the thin shirt.

"I missed you," he says quietly, kissing the back of her neck and resting his forehead against her shoulder before he rolls onto his back again, pulling the sheet up over his legs.

She doesn't know what to say to that. She knows she's just promised to try harder for him, but the entire experience is just so fresh that she really doesn't know what to say. Instead when he rolls onto his back, she shifts over from where she's lying, pressing herself against his side and closing her eyes as she rests her cheek against his shoulder.

This is all still so new to her, but this, at least, is something she can do. She can close her eyes and let herself relax against him and feel like she isn't playing at some game or that she's imposter. She feels enough like herself.

It doesn't bother him that she doesn't reply. He knows that their talk was a lot for her, and he isn't going to push the issue. He feels a lot better about everything, and his mind might finally quiet down enough to get to rest. He didn't sleep well during the spell either, too worried about his future.

She turns in to curl against his side and Caden smiles sleepily, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and tipping her head up to give her another soft kiss, lingering for a moment and then pressing their foreheads together before relaxing against the bed, turned in slightly towards her.

He pulls the blankets up over them and slides his fingertips up and down her arm, smiling to himself as he closes his eyes against the gray morning light filtering in through the window.

As far as he knows, neither of them have anywhere they absolutely have to be today and he's absolutely content to spend it with her, just like this.

[closed - Caden]

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